About addiction

Наверно, любовь может вызывать чувства сильнее, чем лезвие по венам, ранить, и при этом заставляет тебя хотеть этого. And it becomes some sort of addiction, when you don't see anyone around, just the one, and you don't seek other pleasures except for that pain. You seek it because it's the only thing that makes you feel alive. So slowly, step by step you become an addict. You may not even have seen it happening, you just feel high being around him, and then, suddenly, when you try to break away, you find out with astonishment that... you can't. And you're struggling to remember what was you life like before, and can't. Seems as if you were in a state of a constant wait, meeting with the people who meant nothing and doing things simply to get by. Addiction is dangerous, but most of all it's difficult. Your body functions as usual but your brain can't, and you can't force yourself to think of something else. You're scared of loosing it, angry at yourself for this fear when there is nothing objectively to be afraid of, you try to forget ant to remember every second, to live like you did before and to forget you life before. You suddenly understand all the love songs you earlier considered too sissy, and you're afraid to look ahead. If you could you would freeze this moment and just stay in it, or, better yet, you'd rather relive it over and over again, thousand of times. But life keeps going on, and you have a choice to make - to preserve it the perfect way it was in your memories, or to keep going and try to make it a part of your life. Yes, it may be hard, and it won't be ideal, but it may turn into real happiness. It's your call now, and it's your life.